...because there is little when I wake.
This is sort of a gift, or late response to a close friend I have lost contact with. I don't know what I should say after what has happened, and I could not say anything even if I did, but maybe if I try my best I can show a tiny piece of how I feel. If you do read this my friend, know that I will wait for a day we can talk again no matter how long it takes, and I will always with you in your heart as you are in mine.
Anyway, for all you watchers please do not worry about me or my personal problems, there is nothing you could do to help, and trying could make things much worse. I know you are all my friends too even when I hardly ever do anything here, and I am sorry if events in my life seem to make me reclusive. It is not likely I will feel like drawing again for a while after this either and I may be a bit worse then usual about responding to messages.
Well, let me try to cheer things up a bit by describing the picture a tad. I started this about a year ago because of a different heartbreak, and events not long ago finally inspired me to drag out the old sketch and finish it. I used a lot of new tricks I learned about Gimp to make the scales and scenery a bit more realistic than any picture I have drawn before, and it seems that even taking a year long break has not caused me to loose any skill or patience with details. It is all hand drawn with tools found in Gimp, plus a 3D plugin I am now in love with. I actually created an animated version of this picture where the auroras rippled in the sky, and planned to add glimmering stars and maybe even some snowfall, but I failed at getting it just right and I am not sure how big of an animation I can post here anyway. Maybe some day I may pull this out and try a little harder at animating it, but it looks kind of good without animation I guess.
It is a fairly detailed picture of me, and even includes a more recent version of my wing-blades that show a bit more detail than my old artwork used too. The scene is set in my own world, on top of a windy, snowy basaltic cliff overlooking the sea so that I could wait and watch for those I care about across it. I do not really care for the sea very much though, it is home to lots of smelly fish and the dreaded smell of squid, but up high enough and with a seaward wind you do not really smell it. The cold is nice too, I don't really like summer, and a cold place is perfect for slowing your heart rate, thinking, waiting, and dreaming. I hope everyone was able to enjoy the cold this winter.
I hope this drawing might help cheer up some people if you are feeling sad, if I can help cheer someone else, then I can start atoning for the sadness I have been dealt or caused in my friend. I suppose you could do something to help me, maybe you could say something nice to someone today that you may not have said otherwise, or do something small to help cheer others on my behalf. Maybe decide to lose an argument with a friend that is not worth fighting for, or be a little more generous than usual for a day. Good should come from all things, and heartache and failures may be the greatest forces for good if it empowers us to change our world and make it more beautiful to spite the depression that seeks to overwhelm our spirits. Maybe I am dreaming early and need more sleep then I thought, but it was worth suggesting. Well, I better upload this before I fall 100% asleep. Peaceful dreams everybody and may your days bring you more peace then mine as well.